Rediscovering Love in a Marriage That’s Grown Stale

Let’s be honest, after decades of marriage it can grow a little less than exciting at times.  Going to work, raising kids, elderly parents and sick pets often leaves little time to enjoy the one you once passionately loved.


Walking together


Jennifer and I, after 40 years of marriage, seemed of late to be getting on each others nerves a bit.  We went through six years of taking care of her aging parents that left us little reserve for each other.

So the little things mounted up.

I’m a perfectionist.  Jennifer can let the small things slide.

She doesn’t sweat the small stuff.  I can sweat the smallest of stuff and turn it into big stuff.

Because of that she can seem at times like she’s not paying attention to some of the important details.

That makes me crazy sometimes because I pay attention to all the details even details that I probably really didn’t need to pay attention to.

Anyway, you get the idea, and I’m pretty sure you could add your own illustrations.


But at times it can leave us wondering, “Who is this person I married?  What was I thinking?”


[Read more…]

Quora Post: “What is the Best Marriage Advice You Could Give?”

I’m over at Quora today answering that question.

Let’s be honest, after you’ve been married for several years some of the new car smell can wear off. I mean, you drift into the same routine every day and begin to wonder,“What happened to all the excitement?”. . . .”

To read the rest please join me here.

2 Keys to a Miracle Filled Life

A few months ago, over brunch on Sunday morning, Jennifer and I reminisced about our years of marriage. We talked about how through the challenges and triumphs we’re amazed with where we’ve ended up.


Photo Credit: Geoffrey Coelho

Photo Credit: Geoffrey Coelho


We started out in a tiny apartment in a part of town that was so bad that one day I asked a neighbor if our car was safe.

He responded, “Oh yeah. The car thieves who live here don’t steal cars in this neighborhood.”

We reflected on nearly going bankrupt in a business we owned a few years later.

Then spending ten years as a pastor and wrestling to make ends meet with our family of four.

After that struggling to build the business we currently have while trying to live on virtually nothing the first few years.

And I remember sometimes lying awake at night worrying about how we would make it. [Read more…]

A Family Transformed

Number 46 in the series “God Rocks: 101 Amazing Everyday Gifts!” The miracles and promises of Jesus that show us the awesome blessings we can experience each day. I hope it encourages you!


When I pastored I saw firsthand the devastation of dysfunctional families.

Instead of love and support too often I saw anger and attack. Instead of being a refuge from the world’s pressures it became a war zone to escape.


Family Playing


Unfortunately, it wasn’t always the neighbors who didn’t go to church though. Sometimes it was some of those who were the most involved. Going to church wasn’t an inoculation against the disease.

And the destruction it left was devastating. Children abused or rejected. Marriages destroyed. Families torn apart.


Lives devastated sometimes in ways that couldn’t be seen yet manifested themselves later.


After many years of marriage I can say honestly Jennifer and I have gone through our times of struggle too. I mean, realistically who hasn’t?

Marriage is tricky. There have been times when it would be easier to quit. [Read more…]

God Rocks #10: Healing for Hurting Relationships

Part of the series “God Rocks: 101 Amazing Everyday Gifts!” Stories and promises of the awesome blessings God gives us each day. I hope it encourages you today!


Divorce in our country is rampant. Over half of all marriages end in it. And by far the majority of serious relationships implode before they ever get to marriage.


Photo: Bert Kaufmann

Photo: Bert Kaufmann



The results are lives devastated. Families destroyed. Friends divided. Hearts broken. Confidence crushed.


Feeling as though your soul has been torn out. Your insides ripped apart.


Often it starts with a thoughtless comment or action. That’s followed by a sharp response. Retaliated by additional actions and words. Until the relationship spirals out of control.

Each feels the other one started it. Each one waits for the other to apologize and make amends.

Each thinks, “Well I’m not the one to blame.” And you know, they might be right. But the destruction is still just as real. [Read more…]