How to Keep from Getting Duped by a Religious Conman

I was sitting at my computer in our sunroom laughing and swearing at the same time watching a TV video replay.

It was a humorous yet indicting expose’ of some prosperity preachers showing clips of their preaching and interviews.

Some was so ridiculous it was pathetically humorous.

 

Photo Credit: Richard Cooper

Photo Credit: Richard Cooper

 

One preacher reached out towards the TV camera and told the audience to reach out and touch the screen to touch his hand.

I’m thinking, “Wait, what? His hand isn’t there folks, even if this was a live broadcast.”

Another prophetically described an illness that someone watching the program had and he was praying for that person right now.

Well, first this program was recorded, who knows when. And second the illness described was so general that about half the adult population of the U.S. could claim it on any given Tuesday.

One greasy pot bellied southern preacher bragged about buying a corporate jet for several million dollars cash. Then said, “And now I’ve bought a bigger one for all cash. And those who criticize me are just jealous.”

And I thought, “No, I’m not jealous. First, I really don’t want a corporate jet. And second, I don’t like you because you make me feel like throwing up.”

They fill whole TV networks with programs and send out endless high pressure letters to raise millions. They prey on the most vulnerable and often the least illuminated pressuring them to send money to “invest” in God’s blessings.

 

I was angry for those who were duped.

 

But I was also sad for those who see this and think this is Christianity. And it’s crazy.

Frankly, I don’t blame them. I’ve been there and thought the same things.

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How to Overcome the Tyranny of Religion

I see a disturbing trend in churches. One I’ve gotten caught up in at times also.

In an effort to make Christianity relevant pastors often take the Bible and turned it into kind of recipe book for successful living.

 

Photo Credit: Mike_tn

Photo Credit: Mike_tn

 

Nine steps to a better marriage. Five steps to further your career. Twelve steps to overcome any problem.

Yet, let’s think about this. On a given Sunday around the world there has to be say a million more steps given. Wow, I didn’t even get the six from last Sunday going yet.

I watched it reach its logical conclusion in a conference that was popular in the 1970’s. At huge arenas all over the country during a long weekend people meticulously plowed through a huge red binder. It was filled with formulas, all indexed, to successfully navigate any challenge and receive God’s blessing in the midst.

 

The only problem was it left me and a whole lot of others not feeling encouraged but in despair.

 

We now we had the secret recipe book but how could I possibly remember let alone follow all of these steps every moment of every day?  And the underlying threat was to the degree you fall short God won’t bless your life as fully.

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How Going To Church Can Mess Up Your Spiritual Life

Important safety tip! Don’t ever do a favor for a friend of a friend.

I was doing that when I met with a young couple in my office one afternoon while I was a pastor. As we sat around a coffee table in some easy chairs they told me they were planning to get married but struggling with some issues.

Second important safety tip! If you’re engaged and struggling in your relationship, stop now. Don’t proceed. It won’t get better after marriage.

 

Photo Credit: Saint-Petersburg orthodox

Photo Credit: Saint-Petersburg orthodox

 

Apparently, he’d been cheating on her. They’d resolve the issue but then it would happen again.

Also, he had a wee smidgen of a problem with alcohol.

It was all I could do to keep from yelling to the young woman, “Run!”

Suddenly the young man interjected, “Well, there’s another issue also. I believe we’re commanded to attend church on the Sabbath which is Saturday. She goes on Sunday which is breaking the commandment.”

I replied, “Frankly, I don’t think God cares much when you go.”

He said, “But the commandment says it must be the Sabbath which is Saturday.”

I replied, “But we don’t live under the law anymore so I think God really isn’t all that concerned.”

At that point the conversation veered completely off the core problems and I knew we weren’t going back. So we ended the meeting a few minutes later and I never heard from them again.

I’ve wondered occasionally, did they get married? If so, for how long?

 

Sometimes I find getting caught up in the legalities of church can actually keep us from spiritual vitality.

 

Now I’m not advocating not attending. I’m just saying I think sometimes it’s more of a detriment to our spiritual lives than a help.

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What is the One Thing God Requires for All of His Blessings?

When I first entered into a relationship with God my life changed suddenly and dramatically. I found unimaginable peace and joy that I’d been searching for but could never cinch down.

I started attending a church and at first it was fresh and exciting.

But soon life filled up with all the things I was supposed to do to keep God happy and the blessings flowing.

 

Photo Credit: Chris Lofqvist

Photo Credit: Chris Lofqvist

 

Of course I needed to attend worship services but not just on Sunday morning. Come on that’s not enough. Sunday and Wednesday evenings also.

Then I needed to join a Sunday School class. Now that’s what a full time college senior is looking for. More class time.

And of course I needed to start tithing which actually wasn’t that difficult. As a full time student I was making like zero. So giving ten percent wasn’t a stretch.

After graduation I went to seminary to learn more and there the demands ramped up.

One of their favorite verses was a Jesus quote, “I desire mercy not sacrifice.”*

With that the requirements expanded exponentially. They were open ended so there was no end to them.

Eventually I bogged down in all the legalism. I felt like I was drowning. And I slumped into depression.

 

What started out so beautiful had drifted into a nightmare.

 

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When Religion Keeps You From a Relationship With God

Our son Drew, who was twelve, headed down for breakfast in an elevator ahead of us from our fifteenth floor room.

A few minutes later when we arrived at the hotel restaurant we couldn’t find him. After hunting around a twinge of panic set in.

We were in Israel on a family trip visiting the Holy Land sites. Not the place you want your child to come up missing.

 

Photo Credit: Beverly Vealach

Photo Credit: Beverly Vealach

 

I said to Jennifer, “Where could he possibly be?”

She answered astutely since she’d been with me, “And how would I know?”

So we diligently searched the restaurant and lobby.

As we passed the elevators a door opened and Drew stepped out.

We said, “Where have you been?”

He answered, “Well someone pushed all the buttons on the elevator because it stopped at every floor.” Of course, spoken like a true twelve year old who if given the chance would have done exactly that.

We laughed relieved, “No today is the Sabbath and you got on the Sabbath elevator.”

You see, some rabbi in his infinite wisdom determined after diligent study that pushing buttons on an elevator is work. So the Sabbath elevator stops at every floor so a person can follow their religion and still get around the hotel.

Uh yeah, I think that’s pretty important to God.

 

Jesus encountered similar religious condemnation.

 

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When You’re Tired of the Rat-race and Simply Want Happiness

We spent last week in Monterey, California at “Car Week”. A gentleman I was chatting with described it as, “Adult Disneyland for car addicts.” I love that. And yes, I stand convicted.

A week of non-stop car activities all over the Monterey Peninsula.

 

busy woman

 

On Thursday morning, standing on Ocean Avenue in Carmel, I talked with the owner of a rare mid-thirties Austro Daimler. He was showing his car on Sunday in the prestigious Pebble Beach Concourse d’ELegance. He enthusiastically told me the life story of his treasure and how he had lovingly restored it.

On Friday afternoon in Pacific Grove I chatted with owners of less expensive cars yet ones just as meticulously cared for.

Then at the hotel on Saturday evening, as a group sat on the front porch, I talked with a man who was visiting in his Ferrari. He spoke of his Aston Martin at home and Lamborgini on order. He seemed neither to know much about any of them or ever to have personally worked on them. It seemed simply like a never ending attempt to fill up some restlessness.

For others that restlessness may take the form of incessant shopping. Or frenetically pursuing a career. Or obsession in the gym with trying to retain the last vestiges of youth. Nope, not much hope there.

And frankly, just because I can get on top of it, doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes find myself insidiously slipping back into that endless pursuit.

 

Yet, the problem is? It’s never enough is it? I mean that darn happiness stays just out of reach.

 

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What About a Cure for Bone Tired Exhaustion?

I’m tired. I mean some Mondays I need to get to Tuesday just to recover from the weekend.

Occasionally I just want to be one of our cats.

Our daughter took one of her cats to the vet to see if he was sick and the vet asked, “Is he lethargic?”

Our daughter answered, “So how can you tell?”

 

Photo Credit: Ryan

Photo Credit: Ryan

 

Now that’s a goal.

We’ve been trying to have dinner with two close friends for a couple of months. Between our crazy schedule and theirs it hasn’t worked. Even when we got things planned she had to cancel first to help their daughter move and then to help an elderly aunt.

She emailed us the last time, “I feel like a peanut butter sandwich, just squished.”

I think we can all relate.

Then add to that the incessant running some do because they just don’t want to stop and think about life particularly their own.

Then what about all the things we have to worry about? I mean it never seems to end does it? Our job, family, health, finances. And just when we get one challenge worked out it seems two more pop up.

 

No wonder we feel exhausted.

 

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Is It Time to Stop Making Excuses and Live the Amazing Life?

Years ago, when I pastored a church, I had a conversation with a friend that rattled me.

We grew up together in a church and both drifted away after high school.

Then I experienced a spiritual transformation in college and he raced full out the other direction.

 

Photo Credit: Jofre Ferrer

Photo Credit: Jofre Ferrer

 

He’d visited our church, which was now booming, a couple of times with his mom on Mother’s Day.

One evening as I was leaving the office he came by the church to deliver something for his mom. Afterward I stood at his driver’s window talking with him while he sat in his car with the engine running. That was my first clue he preparing for a quick getaway.

Easter was coming and we had a special service planned so I asked, “Why don’t you join us?”

He responded, “No, I’m really not interested. And I need to be going.” With that he rolled up his window and left me standing on the sidewalk in the dark.

 

I remember feeling rejected and wondering, “Was there something else I could have said?”

 

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What to Do When Your Faith is Challenged and Criticized

A few weeks ago I made a big mistake. Well ok, that’s a daily occurrence but let’s just focus on this one.

 

Photo Credit: Stefan Lins

Photo Credit: Stefan Lins

 

I have a Facebook friend whom I would term a militant atheist. Other frankly other than that we actually do like each other.

But he often posts quotes attacking faith in God. Most I just pass off as his rant. But a few months ago he posted a particularly obnoxious one which was also illogical and based on a false premise.

So courteously, yes really, I called him on it.

Big mistake. He went ballistic. Then some of his groupies jumped in and in true elementary school fashion began calling me names.

I commented back that when my kids debated and I judged when one side started calling the other side names you knew they had just lost because they ran out of logical arguments.

And yes you can imagine how that went over.

I finally just turned off his feed. I’m not sure how long the comments continued.

But I also realized it was never about discussing to seek out the truth it was only about enforcing his version of the world.

 

Sometimes I’ve found when my faith is challenged like that it can also cause me to question it.

 

 

And no frankly in this situation that really didn’t happen.

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How to Find Assurance When You Struggle With Doubts About God

I was one of those children who authors make big money writing books about to help parents. I challenge everything.

I question authority, ask hard questions and rarely take anything for granted. I especially ridicule authority figures who make grand pronouncements and simply expect everyone to follow in lock step.

 

Photo Credit:  Marcello Maria Perongini

Photo Credit: Marcello Maria Perongini

 

Growing up I experimented probably a shade too much. In high school and college that didn’t always play out so well. But it’s just how I’m wired.

So in my faith walk it happens also, often.

The worst though was when I pastored a church. Yeah I know you’re shocked. Pastors are the Supermen of faith. Yeah right.

I’d be driving to the church on Sunday morning often with the kids. All of a sudden the thought would pop into my mind, “Who are you kidding? Are you sure about all this?”

 

Let me tell you that’s not what you want your mind focused on when you’re getting ready to preach.

 

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