We looked previously at what to do when a relationship explodes and you can’t restore it.

But what happens when finding peace proves impossible?

Some years ago I had a friendship completely melt down with deep hurts on both sides.  Yet, we saw each other regularly because of circumstances we couldn’t avoid.

I tried to reconcile the relationship but this friend was having none of it.  Often my attempts were met with rejection or sometimes retaliation.  This would then elicit somewhat less than exemplary reactions from me.

There were times I would see him and say hi only to have him turn around and walk away without response.

Sometimes I could separate myself from him physically.  I just avoided him and that worked pretty well.

If I couldn’t avoid him I’d mentally separate telling myself it didn’t matter.  That worked often too.

Then he’d blind side me with something new that would leave me stunned for a day or two.

No matter what I tried I just couldn’t find a place of peace in the relationship.

[Read more…]

A friend and I got cross ways and our relationship exploded.

We worked together in a nonprofit and shared camaraderie as well friendship.  Yet, in our leadership positions we often collided.  Our friendship fractured and it seemed no matter what we did it grew worse.

One of us would feel hurt and sometimes respond in less than exemplary fashion.  That caused hurt in the other who often responded in kind.  So it spiraled out of control leaving us both feeling angry, frustrated and hurt.

On several occasion, when calmed down, I tried to rectify the hurts and apologized.  It seemed like some of those overtures were also misunderstood.  They consistently were met with a lack of any kind of positive response.

The relationship simply wouldn’t reconcile and to this day still hasn’t.

I had fresh evidence of that again only recently. [Read more…]